Vulnerable

      Being vulnerable is hard , it's like giving the others your weak points and expose every dark spot you constantly tried to hide in your life to someone else , but in the same time , I love being vulnerable , it creates deeper connection with your partner or a friend , which something I think everyone should have , from what I learned living as introvert , you should always have someone to talk to , being alone is too lonely to the unbearable point , thanks to social anxiety , this isn't easy to surpass it , 3 days ago , I sat down with my dearest guy M , he told me that he always talk and share everything with me but , I don't , he asked me why am I not being more open ? , I didn't know what to reply , I've always been this listener because I believe the more I listen to people the more I learn from their experience , I think that what made me weak in expressing myself whenever I have something I want to talk about , I told him it's not personal at all , It's just me being me , too introvert to function 😅 ,  with my past filled with social anxiety in school and life events , made me feel it's better just not talk to people about me and listen to them to make friends :) , being social wasn't my strong suit , when there is a party going on or a social event , I lean away from it , even when I gather my courage and decide that I'm gonna enter and be social and meet new people , I have inside screams and run away 😅😂 , but I can justify that ! , the concept of partying isn't for me , I think I'm selective in these issues and love to surround myself with people that I like only  ,but still sometimes you feel that you have to do so and face your social fears and just go for it ,just like an adventure ! , what helped me the most that these people gonna see me only once and they gonna forget all about me the next day , so it's all good ! , it's a new idea of mine which it's going to pave the way for me to start to be vulnerable and open up to the ones that I love , I know it may will have some draw backs for me especially in a community like the enclosed LGBT where you can get under a magnifying glass and get judged , although i think it's freeing to be open and as weird as i can freely be , who knows ? it can save me days from overthinking about my insecurities and just be me :) .

also I wanna thank  https://www.facebook.com/MeeM82/  for creating such painting ! check his page out ! for art lovers :)